STORY: Just a Letter

Dear, my first love.

Hello. It's been a quite long time that I haven't heard your voice. Have I told you that I miss your laugh? Or how bad it is to not seeing your foolish faces. Or just looking at you sleeping in my bed.

What are you doing there? Is everything going very well as you always predicting?

I wonder what clothes are you wearing at this moment.

Did you clean up your room regularly so you wouldn't get any dust allergy?

I always warn you to not drink too much ice tea. Eat more vegetables.

I miss the times that we always confuse to choose what restaurant to eat. Still you confuse by yourself?

Well, I just want you to know, I am really really sorry for what had happened between us lately. I used to be so much egoist, did not even think about your feelings, I was trying so hard to reach my dream without thinking much about you. I am such a fool, a greedy bastard with lot of stupid thoughts. I know I hurt you every single second I talk about my self.

I never want this ending. I truly sorry for everything I did to you. When you're gone, it's like something broke my half soul. You are always be a part of me, my half.

Thank you for being my best friend, my lover, my adorer, my troublemaker, my brother, my father, my fighter, my supporter, my everything. Still, until this time, you are still my everything.

I cannot say anymore how much I miss your presence around me. I just can't help my feeling that I love you much more than yesterday.

This is I am writing to you, as my apologize. I wish you could forgive me for everything bad I did before. I love you better and better each day, and it kills me every time I remember that you're not at the same boat with me.

You are my first love. I love everything that you are. Your smell, height, weight, laugh, scream, voice, face, midnight call, prank, everything. Everything.

It's really hard to step forward while you're not here.

You are my first love. My alpha, and I want you to be my ending, my omega. Could you please remember our togetherness? Will you be the same? Or should I close this book and start my life without you? As if I could do that.

You are my first love. The first ever who gave me reason to trust. The first who loved me back all the way I am. The first ever who could make me want to sacrifice everything just to have you back here with me. 

You are my first love. If I could get paid by the regrets I feel, I might be rich right now. I want you to hear my heart's call. Can you feel that I calling you every night before I sleep? I pray for you. You are the reason that I stand here with tears on my eyes.

Thanks for everything, the memories that time cannot erase. I will do anything to continue the memories. I hope someday you will feel the same and come with me once more, reaching our dreams together, as we used to hope before.

From, your little catie.